The Things I Promise to Never Change

I hate how emotional I am.

It's 10pm on a Wednesday night. I have on a rerun of "Four Weddings", and I'm crying my eyes out in my empty apartment while Caleb is at work and our roommate is God know's where. I wouldn't be able   to pick these women out of a crowd, but I'm crying at their weddings. Theres a few things in life I can't handle: Weddings, Births, Deaths--you know-- all of life's major events.

I finally found some downtime for myself, so I'm watching wedding stuff on TV, while playing on pinterest. While scrounging through my friends recent pin's, I came across one blog called "16 ways I blew my marriage". The title grabbed my attention and so I clicked on it. It sums up the story about how a family gave wedding advice to another family member on the eve of her wedding. The blog writer had no advice. He had two failed marriages, and giving advice didn't seem proper, so instead he gave his sister advice that he had wish he known then that he knows now or done differently so he didn't end up divorce twice.

The list took me by surprise, and as I read through them, I started thinking of how sometimes the little things end up meaning the most. Below are some of the ones I really liked, that I can promise to never change long after Caleb and I say, "I do".

#1- Never stop holding hands- Caleb and I always hold hands. When we walk to the car, when we walk around a store, while we drive and sometimes while we are even on the motorcycle. I promise to never stop holding his hand. There is nothing that we cannot conquer in this world; as long as we have each other's hand.

#2- Don't stop trying to be attractive- I would hope that Caleb desires me because I've made myself desirable. When Caleb and I met when I was at the peak of losing weight. I never gave up trying to be the best person that I could be. Fitness has become such a huge part of my life, and I so, I promise to never let myself go. I want my husband to be as proud of me years down the line as he is of me now for all that I have accomplished. 

#3- Don't always point out their weaknesses- Though, this doesn't seem to be a problem in our relationship now, there is no need to focus on the areas of improvement. If you did this with someone while you were dating, chances are the relationship wouldn't last too long. Why would anyone thing that if you constantly pointed out someone's weakness in a marriage that the marriage would last? I promise to keep building my husband up, and not break him down. If there is an area for improvement that is having a negative effect on our relationship, we can discuss it knowing that we are just trying to build the best marriage possible. 

#4- Don't stop cooking for Each other- Truthfully, I wish this was something that Caleb did more often for me, but he does make me some INCREDIBLE bacon. I would treasure nothing more though than to have him prepare a dinner for me, sometime. But, because of our work schedules, it just doesn't work out that way. I get the opportunity over the weekends to prepare him food, for which he is always grateful. I promise to continue to prepare Caleb's meals, and send him to work with lunch as often as our schedule allows. 

#5- Don't yell at your spouse- This one is my favorite by far. This isn't to say yelling in the terms of arguing (which is a whole other point in itself), but instead of trying to get each other's attention by yelling for each other, take the time to get off the couch, pause your t.v. show or video game if you need or want something. I promise to make my husband a priority. If that includes me walking away from something that I find enjoyable to give him the attention he deserves, I will do it. 

#6- Don't stop kissing- The amount of times we kiss each other now, is absurd. We are forever locked by the lips, and I'm sure it has to drive people crazy! But, I don't ever want to get so comfortable around each other that we forget to kiss each other throughout the day, or when we captivate one another. We began our relationship with a kiss, we began our engagement with a kiss, and we will begin our lives as Husband and Wife with a kiss.  I promise to kiss him in the morning- morning breath and all. I promise to kiss him during the day; when I come home from work, or when he comes home from work. I promise to kiss him at night, and all the hours in between. 

#7- Don't only show affection when you want 'something'- A woman shouldn't be touched by her man simply when he wants sex. A woman shouldn't show affection to her man when she wants a new material possession, or when she wants sex. Show affection to each other when you want to remind each other that you love them. I promise to not only dote on my husband when I am wanting something. I promise to show him affection throughout all ups and downs that our life my be blessed with. From simply laying with him on the couch, holding his hand (see #1), kissing each other (see #6),  or a back rub, or back scratch. 

#8- Don't stop trying to woo each other- Many times in our relationship Caleb and I have surprised each other. I've been surprised with my Kindle Fire, and surprised him with an entire weekend date. I don't want to lose the essence or importance of these types of things after we have become husband and wife. I promise to never stop showing Caleb and my gratitude and appreciation for him in all ways, including gifts, or romantic get-aways. 

#9- Don't emotionally distance yourself after a fight- Or, another favorite saying of mine, "never go to bed mad". We are far from a perfect couple, and we do have our fights. One of our greatest abilities, is to let it go shortly after it has happened. Yet, we both can be so strong headed and never apologize (mostly because our arguments are so tedious!). Emotionally distancing yourself after an argument or fight just throws a wedge your relationship, and causes further turmoil. We both should be able to swallow our pride, not only for ourselves, but for each other and for our union. I promise to never let a fight get so bad that I can't swallow my pride and say I'm sorry or accept an apology from my spouse. I promise to not emotionally distance myself from you in the heat of the moment, and I promise to not go to bed when I am upset or have something on my mind that needs to be discussed. 

Without a doubt, some of these can begin being worked on now. Like I mentioned, I am far from perfect, but can only hope to have my idea of a "perfect" marriage. I can only hope that he can make the same promises to me, as I will make to him. Though, the list extends far greater than these nine, these are just some of the promise I intend to keep in all the years of marriage. Until death do us part.